It’s the most wonderful time of the year—or at least, it would be if teachers weren’t holding on by a thread, juggling glitter explosions, rogue math lessons, and caffeine-fueled attempts to grade 482 assignments. The week before Christmas break is like running a holiday marathon with shoelaces tied together.
This week, I faced it all: a hoodie-clad fruit impersonator, a hall full of cranky teachers, and twelve buses idling in the drive, ready to whisk the madness away. If this sounds familiar, welcome to your survival guide—equal parts humor, strategy, and holiday cheer.
What You Will Learn
How to navigate pre-break chaos with grace (and a little sarcasm).
The best ways to keep students engaged when they’ve mentally clocked out.
Practical survival tips for the longest week of the year.
The Twelve Days of Pre-Break Chaos
On the First Day: “I’m a Banana!”
One student burst into my classroom, hoodie pulled tightly over his head, shouting, “I’m a banana!” Was it holiday energy? Too much sugar? I didn’t have time to figure it out before redirecting him back to his seat with a whispered promise that bananas don’t yell in math class. Pro Tip: Always keep a calm-down corner for when your students (or you) need it. Bonus points if it has fruit snacks.
On the Second Day: Nose-Picking Shenanigans
Two students decided math class was the perfect time for a not-so-subtle nose exploration. I stood frozen, debating whether to ignore it or break out in a TED Talk about tissues. I chose to redirect with hand sanitizer and a silent prayer for next year’s batch of kids.
On the Third Day: IEP Meeting Marathon
Three back-to-back IEP meetings had me questioning whether I’d make it to Christmas. By the last one, I was scribbling goals with one hand and reaching for my coffee with the other, drafting measurable objectives like, “Teacher will survive holiday season with 80% accuracy.”
On the Fourth Day: Grading Exit Tickets
Four stacks of exit tickets loomed on my desk like the Ghost of Christmas Past, haunting me with half-erased answers and scribbled doodles. I briefly considered lighting them on fire and calling it a day but instead settled for marathon grading with candy canes as fuel.
On the Fifth Day: The Great Absentee Mystery
Five students absent in every class left me wondering: Do they think break started early? Are they avoiding my riveting slope lesson? Either way, reteaching it in January now feels inevitable.
On the Sixth Day: Slope Soap Opera
Six students trudged into slope intervention, all at different points of understanding. Teaching slope in the week before break? That’s the stuff of reality TV—tears, drama, and a plot twist where no one remembers what “rise over run” means.
On the Eighth Day: Retakes Abound
Eight students begged for assessment retakes. Their pleas were filled with desperation: “Please, just one more chance!” I might have handed out retakes like Oprah giving away cars, but I mentally vowed to make next year’s retake policy ironclad: “No retakes after December 1st.”
On the Ninth Day: Inbox Overload
Nine parent emails sat blinking in my inbox. Some were polite inquiries; others could have been titled “The Case of the Missing Homework.” My replies were laced with holiday cheer—and maybe a smidge of sarcasm: “Yes, Johnny has a 27%. No, it’s not because I hate Christmas.”
On the Tenth Day: Office Referral Procrastination
Ten office referrals sat unwritten on my desk. One involved a cell phone, two involved creative use of weekend words, and the rest were a blur of hallway chaos. I stared at them for a solid five minutes before deciding that the Naughty List was Santa’s jurisdiction.
On the Eleventh Day: The Cranky Teacher Choir
Eleven cranky teachers gathered in the lounge, sipping lukewarm coffee and commiserating about the week. Someone muttered, “Who thought a full week before break was a good idea?” and the collective groan could power a small city.
On the Twelfth Day: Buses of Freedom
Twelve buses lined up in the drive, their engines humming the sweet song of freedom. As they pulled away, taking the chaos with them, I waved like the queen in a holiday parade, whispering, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good nap.”
Holiday Survival Tips for Teachers
Keep it Light: Now is not the time for elaborate lesson plans. Simple and fun activities are your best bet.
Find the Humor: Laugh at the madness—it beats crying into your coffee.
Lean on Your Team: Share the load and commiserate with your colleagues. Misery loves company, especially with holiday cookies involved.
Set Boundaries: Stop grading at a reasonable hour. The world won’t end if you finish after the break.
Prioritize Self-Care: Whether it’s a peppermint latte, fuzzy socks, or a “DO NOT DISTURB” sign, do whatever keeps you sane.
The week before Christmas break is less about teaching and more about surviving with your humor intact. From bananas in hoodies to glitter-filled chaos, it’s a season of challenges that only teachers can truly understand. So, here’s to you, the real MVPs of the holiday season. Grab your coffee, your sense of humor, and your favorite Christmas playlist—we’ve got this.
🎄 Happy Holidays, teachers! You’ve earned every moment of your break. 🎄
